Almost everyone knows the physical pain of recovering from alcohol and drug poisoning. Many people have experienced: uncontrollable shaking makes people unable to hold the spoon, and a large amount of night sweats wet the mattress. Insecurity makes you think your heart will pop out of your mouth. A few days after detoxification, the physical pain stopped, and then came the really interesting part: the emotional pain of trying to recover from the poisoning.

For me, the struggle for recovery is extremely painful. I can compare it to another time when I want to be with the only person I love. Because I know I haven’t seen him for at least 10 years. But in this case, I am trying to accept this fact. In other words, if I don’t say goodbye to my “friend”, I will die. Drugs and alcohol are my best friends for more than 20 years. From the love story in San Francisco and the Habsu party in summer to the death of people close to me and the post-traumatic struggle against stress disorder, they accompanied me at the most beautiful and worst moments. How can I say goodbye to my lifelong friends and deal with things alone? We still need a few beers to celebrate our victory. For example, you should withdraw the suspicion of fraud, drink a glass of xanax, and spend the night I can’t sleep. Because I think someone broke into my house and planned to kill me again. I can’t call my best friend anymore. My addiction drove my family away. So I only have myself.

When you are recovering, what will happen to your family? Obviously, poisoning affects all family members; mutual dependence is more likely to get sick than the addict himself. My family tried everything: let me go to the rehabilitation center, not to the drug rehabilitation center, let me be supervised at all times, let me live alone, send me to another country, call me every hour every day, if I don’t answer the phone for 15 minutes, go out to find me, Call my friends, check my phone number, don’t call me at all, register me for courses, tell me not to work, find me a job, buy me marijuana, so don’t take medicine… Let’s say, they tried. What else do they need to do during the recovery process? Taking care of me is a full-time job. Now the problem has suddenly improved. Now they are ill. This left them one thing: wait until you relapse. Even if you have achieved amazing results, you can also get rewards such as “think about all the time you have lost”, “should make greater contributions to your family”, and “want to know whether you can really recover”. All this makes you want to call your best friend. But this is not the case. They can’t be around you anymore. You only have yourself. Only live according to the way of life.